Used Car Salesman Visits Canada
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It’s an exciting weekend for Canada when used car salesman and part-time President Joe Biden pays a friendly visit. He was greeted on the tarmac by none other than WEF member and Minister of Foreign Affairs Melanie Joy. Increased security measures included lots of US Secret Service, some warplanes circling Ottawa and manhole covers sealed shut, just in case some sneaky terrorist jumps out of a sewer and grabs Joe by the leg. It could happen!
Deputy Prime Minister Chrystia Freeland was also there smirking and twitching, trying to control herself from screaming, “Fuck Russia, Joe!”
Keeping a tight schedule, President Biden was installed in his aptly named armoured limo, “The Beast,” and the entourage whisked downtown to Rideau Cottage for a meet and greet with Prime Minister Trudeau and the first ladies. There, according to a senior Canadian government source, the two couples will “have an informal meeting.” White House National Security Council spokesman John Kirby called it an “intimate gathering.” Sounds romantic, no telling what happens behind closed doors with our pervy national leaders, especially considering new revelations from Ashley Biden’s diary, where she claims daddy took showers with her.
The real party started Friday morning at 11 a.m. at the Parliament buildings. The whole gang was there to greet Prez Joe: Jagmeet, Poilievre and even Green Party leader Elizabeth May. Leading the charge was the “Usher of the Black Rod,” proving that Canadian politics is still bizarre. The Usher leads the parade into parliament, a 600-year tradition borrowed from the British. Why can’t we have our own traditions, like maybe the Usher of the Black Hockey Stick?
And speaking of hockey, President Joe gave a rousing speech, that he began by mumbling something about not liking the Maple Leafs because they beat his wife’s favourite team, the Philadelphia Flyers. “Fellows, I like you, but not that much.” The truth is often said in jest.
Prez Joe laid it on super thick with a lengthy paragraph about the US/Canada bromance: “The United States chooses to link our future with Canada because we know that we’ll find no better partner. I mean this from the bottom of my heart: no more reliable ally, no more steady friend. And today, I say to you, and to all the people of Canada, that you will always, always be able to count on the United States of America.”
Whenever the US starts getting chummy with you, you can bet the next step is going to be requests for more troops and weapons for their current military projects. The rest of the speech touched on security, diversity and going to the moon. Yep, Canada is donating an astronaut to the planned Artemis project for a manned moon landing to take place in 2024, with the long term goal of establishing a permanent moon base. Okay with me, as long as we can set up a hockey rink. What’s a moon base without a hockey rink??
Also present were the two Michaels who were accused of espionage by China, and detained until Huawei executive was returned to Canada in a prisoner swap. Michael Korvig worked for NGO International Crisis Group which was funded with seed money by George Soros. Oops.
Not to be outdone, Pierre Poilievre got in a cheeky moment with Joe Biden, introducing himself as the leader of “His Majesty’s Loyal Opposition:”
In a joint statement, Trudeau announced $250 million investment in semi-conductors, $420 million to protect the Great Lakes. The two leaders announced plans to further bolster Norad, expand the Safe Third Country Agreement to unofficial ports of entry to address irregular migration, launch a one-year energy transformation task force, and offer more support to Haiti. “Support” is a euphemism for a stronger military presence. Trudeau also promised to send Royal Canadian Navy vessels to the Haitian coast, following surveillance flyovers earlier this year and an existing plan to send more armoured vehicles. So far, direct military intervention is a no-go, despite the urgings of UN officials and the Haitian President Ariel Henry. A recent article in the New York Times remains pessimistic that Canada will accept Biden’s proposal to lead the charge for a military intervention.
However, Ottawa will redeploy HMCS Glace Bay and Moncton from West Africa, along with their 90 sailors, the Defence Department said. They will conduct “presence patrols” focused on the waters around the capital, Port-au-Prince.
And the main course of the spending spree are plans for investment in collective defence and security: Canada is committing to spend an additional $7.3 billion in infrastructure for the arrival of F-35 fighter jets. This comes as no surprise after Defense Minister Anand announced Canada is buying 88 F-35 fighter jets from Lockheed Martin in January. An additional $38.6-billion Norad modernization plan and $6.96 billion on surveillance system modernization in the North.
The Gala Dinner, held Friday night, was hosted in the Canadian Aviation Museum, a fitting backdrop to the deep, dark discussions on military escalation. In a joint statement issued after Mr. Biden’s speech, the two leaders vowed to continue supporting NATO allies and others in Europe by backing Ukraine in its fight against Russian aggression (because Nato aggression is much better than Russian aggression.)
“We condemn Russia for its illegal, unjustifiable, and unprovoked war against Ukraine, and will continue imposing economic costs on Russia, while maintaining our unwavering support for Ukraine for as long as it takes,” the statement said.
According to Canadian government website, Canada has already tossed a billion dollars to the Ukraine with donations of tanks, howitzers, armoured vehicles and a laundry list of other equipment: “National Advanced Surface-to-Air Missile System (NASAMS) and associated munitions are being purchased from the United States, to donate to Ukraine, at a total cost of $406 million.”
Canada is at war with Russia.
In conclusion, I don’t know which is better, being America’s closest friend or worst enemy. The last time America wooed another western nation was after 9/11 when President Bush declared, “America has no truer friend than Great Britain...Once again, we are joined together in a great cause.” And look how that turned out. A 2013 study, co-partnered with Iraqi, American and Canadian researchers estimates the Iraq war-related deaths at 461,000.
When the dogs of war come knocking at your door, it’s best not to answer.
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